it is when you go mad, absolutely mad again and again

and when you are frustrated again and again
and angry and sad and horny to the edge of your nerves
and lonely if you can feel  that
and when you despise all the above and rejecting
and fighting for your sanity ceaselessly for no avail

and it is the same like this forever and ever for millions of years
you are stuck with it and you are thinking that you are learning
and that is in fact a lesson for ya - great shit
and this messy going in circles is for ever the same all together
all that you want and don't or do get is here and you are
here having this mess for yourself and for others all these
pains & pleasures mix such drama like you can not believe

that you may come out of all that all together like you woke up from sleep

no tranquilizers no meditations to relax no contemplations to realize
no manoeuvres whatsoever you are and i am in that mass wherever we
are and can't get out of it

just remaining with what is while its taking place and this is you fully now and  with staying here with all the mess of your life is the door the door is despair and then you see its the same door and the same life for all